My Thoughts, Numbered

“Writing down your thoughts is both necessary and harmful. It leads to eccentricity, narcissism, preserves what should be let go. On the other hand, these notes intensify the inner life, which, left unexpressed, slips through your fingers. If only I could find a better kind of journal, humbler, one that would preserve the same thoughts, the same flesh of life, which is worth saving.”
— Anna Kamieńska, In That Great River: A Notebook

June 19, 2014 11:11 pm

Thought #397

Defense.

The reaction we instantly go to in any situation. Our consciences switches position. We go from thinking about ourselves to trying to figure out our opponents next move. We get called out. We get caught in a lie. Whether the terms are deemed serious or in a joke, we find it necessary to stand up for ourselves.

What about our existence forces us to defend that we are right? Why must we suggest others to believe we are so arrogant to think our way is the only way? When will it be okay to just shoot the breeze and let anything anyone says roll off our backs?

It’s as if what others say is so offensive, when the tone and context is in the least bit objectionable, that we must correct them. We must let them know that what just came out of their mouth was disagreeable to our current mood, situation, or thought process.

Who doesn’t love a good argument? We all love to debate whether we’re good at it or not, but what I’m most interested in is in casual conversation when someone turns to the slightest uproar of finding the slightest dishonesty, whether this be intentional or not. 

What’s wrong with just letting people talk. Let them hang themselves with their own rope if it’s that ridiculous. Begin to agree with somethings people say to boost their confidence if that’s what they choose to believe. 

Honesty, after everything we say, do we not expect everyone to attempt to accept it in the slightest? 

*this is meant in casual conversations. this does not apply to controversial topics or things that could brainwash future generations. 

May 30, 2014 8:44 pm
I lost my Muse

mikelernerphotography:

She wanted to know how come I didn’t photographer her often, how come she wasn’t my muse. Now that we’re not together I regret that, but I don’t think I would’ve changed anything.

Being a photographer, most people believe that I photograph everything and everyone. Truth is, I’m not one of those…

Thought #396
This guy gets it. He gets all of it.

May 4, 2014 10:59 pm

Thought #395

At this moment, we will display my obsession with Lana Del Rey and how it grows more and more each day. Her lyrics are the most underrated in the music industry and does not get enough credit for the art she produces. The three songs they play on the radio over and over and over again do not give her music justice, compared to what else is on her albums. 

10:50 pm

Thought #394

At what point do we decide that a relationship is over? What is that defining moment inside of us that says, “We’re done.” Whether this be a romantic or platonic bond, there’s always potential for termination. When we put so much effort, so much energy into each other, and then it’s just gone. On to the next. A replacement has been found, clean up your desk and see the receptionist on your way out to receive your pension. The negativity was never there. A fight never happened. Attitudes changed inside themselves from a laughing heart to a scolding mind. The transition is difficult, especially the times when we don’t see it coming, but we must rely on the new and sometimes forget the old. Mistakes were made. Lessons were learned, and that’s the pay off. The pensions are the teaching we discovered and how to react when the next situation is before us. They were there to prepare us for the even bigger opportunities that we will eventually face. Not one thing happens without reason. 

April 16, 2014 11:28 am

Thought #393

Just keep telling yourself that your grades do not define your life.

April 12, 2014 12:40 pm

Thought #392

I remember in 8th grade in my typing class this girl sitting next to me noticed how fast I could type. She looked at me and said, “Are you on Myspace?” Then I said, “Yeah.” 

April 6, 2014 11:27 pm

Thought #391

It’s that pressure you get right behind your eye. You know, that feeling of jealousy that slowly creeps in when your thoughts begin to get lost within yourself. Think about those times when it’s not slow. They monster creeps in faster than you can even realize you’re a new person. You keep telling yourself, “Let go. You don’t need to be thinking in this sort of way.” But for some reason that scowl still sits lightly on your face and it won’t lift. The only way for it to go away is if you get distracted. Distracted from the hard reality that;s sitting around you, and you just have to sit there waiting for your mind to drift off onto some other fantasy that will keep you from facing the problem thats staring you right in the face. It’s directly in front of that pressure pushing on your retina. But there’s nothing you can do about it, because even you can’t control your own thoughts. 

February 10, 2014 10:35 pm

Thought #390

Time for a little honesty.

I originally came up with the theme to this “blog” in response to being somewhat as witty as Chuck Lorre. For those of you who don’t know that name, he is the mind behind television shoes such as Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, and the like. At the end of every one of his productions he flashes what he calls a “vanity card.” It’s his signature screen shot for half a second to let the viewers know this is his production. These “cards” are full of humor. I would debate there is more humor in these cards that hardly anyone sees than in the actual show he gets paid millions to make. 

Here’s an example of one of his cards.

If you don’t notice, the whole numbered thing comes from his numbering the “cards.” 

When this all began, I could have only wondered what my blog would be like by the time i reached, say Thought #353, and here I am writing Thought #390. 

I’ll admit, the direction my blog is going is not as it was originally intended. I was hoping to reach at least somewhat of the level as that of Lorre, but alas it is not. It’s so pitiful. In the recent past it has only been there for me to vent my somewhat pathetic life, instead of venturing out on existential ideas and help me grow as a person.

I remember the first thought: “Don’t annoy me and we’ll be just fine.” or something along those line. I mean, how arrogant? I just feel terrible for not expanding.

I’ve lost the wit.

To think of it, I never had the wit on here.

I must find the wit.

9:26 pm

Thought #389

I get just as frustrated with gas prices as the next person, but has anyone really stopped and thought about the whole situation?

When the price jumps ten cents, it’s as if the entire local area sends into outrage and continues to drive until the find the cheapest gas to the penny. to the PENNY.

This guy.

I know, many of you are probably laughing thinking of the whole economics of the whole things, I know there is much more behind the fluctuation than what I’m discussing here. I just find it interesting that we get worked up over ten cents, when over the span of a ten gallon tank, it only raises your total to a dollar. That dime is the same dime that we drop and don’t bother to pick up between the couch cushions, but the second we raise the gas price by that much, you’d think the dime is equivalent to one hundred dollars. 

I’m just curious as to who’s to blame for the uproar? Are we blaming the media for this, just as we do for everything else?

8:36 pm

Thought #388

I have never been drawn so immediately to a film before. I felt the passion. I understood the humor. I don’t know why it has taken until today to appreciate Woody Allen. This is remarkable. 

It was almost as if instead of understanding the film myself, the film understood me.

How dumb does the last line sound?

February 9, 2014 11:11 pm

Thought #387

The smell of Chinese lo mein noodles has filled my room. Now as I lay here attempting to fall asleep I only become closer to vomiting than falling into a slumber.

I’ve learned my lesson.

5:01 pm

Thought #386

When I have children, I want to be a tenth of cool as a parents as Olive Penderghast’s.

4:51 pm

Thought #385

At least when I do repeat the story, I do my best to accurately represent the situation to the best of my ability without any bias. 

Okay, who doesn’t add at least a little bit of bias.

4:47 pm

Thought #384

I always wonder that when a significant event happens in my life and I find the need to tell others about it, if I make the other person sound crazy, which makes me sound sane, which is probably wrong because I subconsciously do it to make myself feel better, OR if everyone else around me is crazy. 

January 26, 2014 3:35 pm

Thought #383

What I believe to be one of the biggest annoyances in this world is when you ask someone a general question, such as, “What did you do today?” or something along the lines of “What are you up to?” and they answer with a good answer, but fail to reciprocate.